Health,  Truth Talk

Life changes…

Ok. So being an extreme introvert and starting a blog, putting myself completely out there for the world to view and most likely judge, let’s face it, is a bit freaking scary! I can only bet that even an extrovert may not be completely comfortable in doing so. But…I’m putting my big girl panties on and going for it. 

So as I mentioned in a previous post, I have been struggling with on going postpartum along with my already existing anxieties. I went from either being in school and working, to just being in school, to now neither working nor being in school and now at home with a new(er) semi-troublesome baby. So life as I knew it, is completely different. I was out in the world and then bam, all of a sudden, I’m home alone with a baby. SO my interaction with adults went from 10 to 0 . Let’s face it, you quit talking to adults on a daily basis, you start to lose control of who you are, and what the hell you‘re doing! I went from working out 4-5 days a week, showering, putting on makeup, doing my hair and wearing normal clothing (jeans), to not working out, yet STILL wearing yoga pants (REPRESENT! What-What), along with 4 day-old dry shampooed hair and maybe some mascara (gotta have mascara!). I feel like I’ve completely lost my purpose in life, however my new purpose in life was the most important of all – being a mom. <3

I’ve always juggled it all, maybe not perfectly, but I did. Motherhood, wife, being an ‘adult’ college student, all while having an occupation. Somehow, all of a sudden I felt I couldn’t simply juggle being a mom, let alone a wife too! I felt like the life was sucked out of me.  I am seeking therapy and finding ways to integrate motherhood and socializing. Joining groups (MOPS, library kiddie-music, WE Two), for myself and for the baby, is a start to getting back out and socializing. It’s sad, I actually look forward to my son’s therapies during the week, not only to see what cool thing he’ll do next, and to hear about how far he’s came, but also so Momma can have some adult convo! 

Okay, so I know I can’t be the only Momma out there who has the anxieties and depression from life changing events…. How do ya’ll cope? What did or do you do for yourself to bring the life back to you? So much has changed, I’m curious how everyone adapts to the changes.

Besides being a Mom and wife, I’m lost as to what my passions are and what I want my purpose in life to be. I’ve lost a little of myself on this ride that I want to somehow get back.  Just a lonely Momma trying to find her other purpose in life.

In the meantime, I’ll keep brewing my coffee strong and sippin’ my sweet-sweet wine. Cheers Mommas!

xo- Stef

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3 Comments

  • Bubbles

    Stefnie, don’t be down on yourself or life…. I too feel I have lost myself for other reasons ofcourse. My childewn are grown and have families. They have always been the joy of my life even when times were tough. Often wondered about the mistakes I may have made but know I did the best I knew how. You are a wonderful wife and mother, and go above and beyond to make a happy home. Being a stay at home momma is important and really hard work but you survive I have never regretted it. We may not have a lot ( on one income) but we have all we need, most of all our beautiful family. So there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep up your sessions and you will find your voice again❤️

  • Lindsey

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. You’re an inspiration…more than you’ll ever know. I admire so many things about you, my baby sis and best friend. Keep doing your thing mama…your boys are the luckiest to have you as their mama. I mean that. I love you!

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