It’s April, and National Autism Awareness month. And I am here to remind you, hey mama, I hear you, I see you, I feel you. You are holding that fort down, you are wearing more hats than you ever have. You are being that everything, to every one. You are strong, you are fierce, you are a giver. You love hard, you fight with passion, you cry but are not weak, you put them first and yourself last, you are deserving, you are worthy, you are capable!
Mama, I feel you. Because, well, I am right there with you. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have lost my shit in the past six weeks, how many times, I wanted to cry, but got up, dusted myself off and put that smile on. Settling in on 6 weeks of quarantine, and the husband is deployed, and like you, I am wearing all the hats. Mom, Dad, wife, teacher, therapist, grounds keeper, plumber, electrician, zoo keeper, barber, housekeeper, Queen chef of the Mac. Like you, I’m trying to hold it all together. Quarantine, is no joke. It is playing with our minds, making us doubt ourselves and our parenting, forcing us to take a glimpse into the dark side, but I am here to remind you, (and me), that you are strong and though you feel you are holding on by that thread. That thread is holding on to you.
I am here to tell you, it is okay. It is okay, to have a moment of weakness, to cry, to feel alone, to second guess, and to wonder. It is okay, to well, … not be okay. Shit, as I type this, laying here next to my little guy who is so peacefully sleeping, and after I just had my moment of weakness. Mama, I legit lost my shit tonight, I may have yelled, I may have got red in my face, I am human. It’s not his fault, it’s not your fault, its no one’s fault. It’s just how we decide to handle what is thrown at us. I am by no means perfect. I lost it today. I am not going to lie. I had to stand back, close my eyes, breathe, and get back in that ring. This is a trying time and definitely a trying time in a mom’s life. But – we got this, girl. Because, though hard, though trying, though uncomfortable, and exhausting, at the end of the day…. would you have it any other way?
Thankful, let us be thankful, that we are healthy, we are able, we are capable, that we are reading this, in the comfort of our own homes, with our children near, and healthy! Healthy! Because someone, many, are out there, away from their loved ones, away from their children, and really, really ALONE.
So we got this. We have our air in our lungs, we have the backing, of love, friendship, and knowing, someone out there is feeling the same way. Have the will, the fight to keep going. If you need that minute, to cry, to complain, to scream, to close your eyes and just breathe, then do not be ashamed to do so.
I got you girl.