A few months back, my last post touched on the point of me testing my littlest for the “A” word. I’m not ashamed of saying it, I just seriously hate the word and the label it gives my guy. It’s been a few months since he’s been officially diagnosed. Josh and I both are really coming to terms with it, we’re handling it better, and we’re learning more about the “A” word itself. Gosh, there is SO much information, I’ll never get it all – nor will I ever even be able to learn all about it. It is crazy though, the community behind it. It is amazing, its welcoming, its heartwarming, it’s comforting, its so unbelievably positive! I am thankful to those who have reached out, those who have offered their advice, their experiences, and those who have went out of their way to actually help me see and understand. Thank you all!
We have officially began therapy here in Florida, we’re up to two therapists currently and waiting on the third to go through. He’s already improved so much just in the last month, and I blame this solely on the fact he is around 7 other children his age, five days a week (remember, or you may not, but I went back to work -in mortgage) therefore he and I have really made some changes! -and most importantly there is benefit to these changes. Everyday, he comes home babbling more than he did the day before. He has peers who he see’s play and learn along side him. I hope he gains confidence and I hope he learns that he, is in fact, just like them. He just needs a little push – that’s all! Everyday his amazing daycare provider tells me what new thing(s) he did that day, or what food he tried, (or spit out) or what activity he participated in. And get this- she insists he is lovable! WTF! My boy? Yes, that’s how far he has come! It’s the little things, he gives kisses, and holds hands, and pulls his peers into his direction of play-he’s interacting! Which, was far and few between before. So, just in a month, he’s made immense progress that not only can we see, but others on the outside have also seen.
With this new move, and all the new adjustments, I was scared shitless on how all this would go down. But here we are, 5 weeks into the move and things are going better than I could have ever imagined. Levi (my twelve year old, going on 25) and I enjoy spending our weekends at the beach, I mean who wouldn’t? Well a 27 month old little fella on the spectrum with sensory processing disorder, wouldn’t-thats who! But guess what, with me taking him every weekend (even if he only lasts 30 min), I didn’t give up, and low and behold, this kid lasts hours at the beach now! It’s crazy! Last weekend this kid was in the water with me – giggling! and smiling! yes, that’s correct! Never in a million fucking years would I have imagined him actually engaging and participating at the beach! No, sand is still not his jam, but I think we’re on the right track. I am not going to give up, and I think we have a bright future here in the South! And- actually, the last two visits to the beach, he fell asleep and napped for over an hour. I think he is finding a sense of ease and relaxation now, instead of the anxiety he did before.
I have a huge sense of positivity- more than I thought I would ever be able to even experience. I am coming to terms, and have begun the internal process of living with a child with a disability, and most importantly, trying to be the best damned parent I can to him, and have all the resources I can find, available to him. I have began my journey of reading and snagged a few books and recommendations from other parents. I am not by any means as wholistic as I would like to be, or someday envision myself to be. But, I feel like I already know, that what we put into our bodies, is what we get out of it. It’s just like exercising. You exercise, you feel better, you eat healthy, you feel better. So, as Cruz’s mother, and his advocate, I want to help him in any way I can. Baby steps of course, but I’ve had a few recommendations of books – first, is a cookbook per say, or more in depth, a better understanding of how food affects our behaviors (adhd, autism, etc.) and ways to incorporate whole-natural foods into our children’s diets AND a read on being the best damn parent I can, to a child with Autism, how to cope, learn, help and be the best advocate for my son.
Here is a link to all my Amazon finds to help with therapies and some reads to help me navigate this thing called “autism”.
I look forward to using this blog and our journey- to hopefully someday, help another momma, who has also been struggling, wether it be autism or another diagnosis, and give her the shoulder to lean on, the words of encouragement, the cheers on the sideline, as so many have and still do, for me. I don’t have my shit together, I have my days of wanting to throw in the fucking towel, but guess what, our babies need us, so I will cry, I’ll get that shit out if I need to, and I’ll get myself right back on that field- for him. He needs me. They, need us! And-fuck, that is enough! – We got this!